PD: Fragile Thoughts

Konstantin thought about his trainer.

"They're healing up nicely, right?" He thought about the almost-hidden, quavering note in that last word. How fragile he was. How he was struggling to hide it, even then, even from them.

Zachary shrieked as Des licked a stripe from the base of his spine to the top of his head. Kostya pressed his hands over his mouth, fighting a giggle; Carlita had no such qualms and broke into a laughing fit. "How are we supposed to know how your body heals? It seems as if it never does," Des said pointedly.

"Never fully," Ike agreed, apart from them. Kostya gave him a look—and then realized that he couldn't do that anymore.

"You're a fire pokémon, you should know burns," their trainer replied, looking all kinds of put-out and ashamed. Kostya liked to think he was the only one who really knew why he looked like that, and why the others never took it seriously. With Ike's sight gone, it was highly likely he was.

"I've never burned you this badly," Des said, voice quiet. There was a long, awkward silence. They were all thinking about their trainer now, of things said and done and what they should have said and done. Kostya knew regrets. Zachary put his hand over one of the burns on his shoulder, the ones from his old Electabuzz. Maybe he knew regrets, too.

Alice flapped down from Konstantin's head to Des'. "You are healing up just fine, Trainer. You'll be fighting fit soon enough!"

"Thanks."

-.-.-

Kostya was talking regularly again, but he was still getting used to his new body. He was not one of the ones healing; he had evolved, and had developed this new body, and so he was fine when the others were not. He had been hurt, sure, by words more than actions, but he was still doing better than the others. He felt separated, not for the first time, from his own team.

"Have you always been this small, comrade?" Kostya asked curiously, lifting his trainer with one hand. It was hardly a strain.

He didn't miss the way Carlita flinched violently at his human tongue. He was separated, truly.

"I'm not small! Don't you remember—Kostya, we've been together for years now! You've seen me grow more than Alice or Zarek have!"

"You did get smaller when I evolved," Zarek chimed in unhelpfully. Zachary shot him a look.

"You grew. I am not small."

"All my life I was small, smaller than Dusclops and humans. And now, neither seem so large," he remarked. He shifted his grip, holding his trainer in both hands, marveling at how light he was. He could hardly lift him as a Duskull, and now it was like he weighed nothing more than his old bone mask.

"I'm not a small human. I'm almost taller than Hanna now," his trainer snapped, face red from being manhandled. Kostya idly wondered why. He should be used to acting as others' plaything by now.

"She is not very large, either."

"Kostya, stop antagonizing," Des said, to Zachary's rescue. Kostya noticed how he brightened when the Camerupt waddled over. "You're the second largest on the team now. It's a big change, yes, but don't let the power go to your head."

Oh, and there, his face darkened again. Kostya enjoyed the multiple layers of their conversations now, after the run-in with Arceus and Nick and Lola and Hanna and there had been so many there. So many involved. But his trainer had been so instrumental, just like he had always known he would.

"If he has power, he's allowed to use it," Zachary mumbled, so quiet, so scared. So fragile, again.

Des leveled a glare at him. Kostya didn't like the way their team was fragmenting. He, he could handle it. He had been ostracized before. He could handle the frightened jumps and gasps when he spoke to humans, but he didn't want to see the others suffer the same. Especially his trainer. He didn't deserve it. He had done the best he could.

"What's past is past, and honestly, we should have danced on her corpse until she split open while we were at it. We would not have suffered any more than we have now," Ike said, lip curled. "Drop it, fat camel."

"I am not pleased with you, either, cat," Des shot back. Konstantin pulled his trainer a little closer to his chest, taking half a step backward. He did not like this fighting. He liked his team—but more than that, he liked his trainer. They should not do this to him. He had been through enough.

But he could always go through more, his rebellious little ghost mind informed him.

"Stop fighting, the both of you! You're acting like chicks," Alice admonished.

"He's just too content with the situation. He bloodied our trainer and has a bodyguard," Des snorted and turned away.

"I only had to lose my sight to earn such trophies!" Ike hissed.

"Stop fighting!" Carlita called and tried to jump in between them, but misjudged her speed. She collapsed in front of Des, awkward and clumsy and not balanced at all. She didn't look right, missing her tail. Laying in between them, she added, "Please, just stop fighting. I want to be done with the fighting already."

Des leaned down and nosed her, murmuring apologies. Ike stalked off, his steps too careful and too calculated. Zachary fought his way out of Kostya's grasp and knelt beside Carlita, helping her up, his eyes looking so sad and so dark.

No, Kostya thought, he cannot handle much more.

-.-.-

"The internet has failed me. Damn." Zachary leaned back in his chair, looking more baffled than disappointed. "It hasn't betrayed me this badly since the Marble Hornets fiasco."

"Let's not relive that," Arianna deadpanned and leaned in, taking the mouse from him. "Though this is puzzling. Usually pokémon items are easier to find. You sure it's called a Reaper's Cloth?"

"Yeah, pretty sure." He pursed his lips, brow furrowed in thought. Then, he nodded. "That should be it. I'll just have to ask others about it. I'll ask Fantina or maybe Lucian..."

"I'll keep looking. You could always put out something, I don't know, official. About it, I mean."

"I don't have the power to do that. Not a gym leader anymore, remember?"

"That doesn't mean you don't have authority. ...Cossette told me what you're planning."

Zachary looked away, the picture of innocence.

Arianna sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "I sure hope you know what you're doing. I'll support you no matter what, and hey, I won't complain if I get to design for a Champion. I could use the boost in popularity—and sales."

"Isn't Hanna keeping you in business single-handedly?"

"Don't change the subject. Just tell me when you're going to challenge them, okay? I'd like to watch on TV."

"I'm going to do it in the dead of night when the world is asleep." She pinched him and he jumped, then rubbed his arm. "Ow! Stop that. I just want to avoid more publicity."

"I want to watch. I didn't get to see you battling in your own gym for all that long, and I want to see some real high class battles," Arianna replied stubbornly.

"...Fine. I'll call you when I go in." With that, he left her. It was already dark and cool out and he pulled up his hood, though more out of habit than anything else. "...Kostya, how long have you been down there?"

"It's snug," he replied from his shadow.

Zachary glared down at him. Konstantin slipped out of his shadow, pressing his hands against his mouth guiltily. Some habits were hard to break. "You look like you just shoved something in your mouth like that."

"I'm sorry."

"Have you been stalking me this whole time?"

"I do not like the use of that word, comrade," Kostya mumbled. "Also, it is not only me. When you are outside, Alice watches you from afar. No one else has the capabilities. We are simply keeping an eye on you."

"Why? I think I can handle myself."

Kostya felt something like pain in his chest. That was odd. "You don't have to handle yourself. We are comrades. We support each other."

"I don't need to be babysat," his trainer said and turned away from him. He walked away.

Kostya took a moment to realize he wasn't automatically floating after him. He had to walk, to manually move his new legs, to patter after him. Too loud. Ghosts shouldn't be loud. Support should come from the shadows, mindful of the situation at hand, and Kostya felt that pain again. He wasn't suited to help his comrade as best he could.

-.-.-

"Contest!" Carlita declared, dancing from foot to foot. Her artificial tail swayed behind her. This much movement wasn't too much for her. Konstantin had to admit that he was glad she was up and moving regularly again; a still Carlita was too scary.

"Uh, yeah," Zachary agreed. One hand on his hip and the other rubbing the back of his head. His hair was too short again; Kostya didn't like that. But he did like the Mareepish look on him. It fit him. "Got double-teamed by Hanna and Cossette again... Some sort of publicity stunt. We're having a little contest."

"Yes, this sounds like a serious and delightful time," Ike said venomously. Harlan sighed softly and painted a stripe across his muzzle. He sparked once in surprise and wrinkled his nose, then slowly, laid his ears down and covered his snout with his paws. Embarrassed. Kostya bit back a laugh.

"What does it concern? Will we have time?"

"It's not as if we've had many challengers. I think they're all still scared of us..."

"A contest of strength! And skill! And dancing!"

"There is a dancing segment," he agreed awkwardly. No doubt only added for Carlita. He felt sorry for whoever tried to upstage her; while she was still working to get her skills back, no one in the team would let anyone take the spotlight off of her while she tried. "And things like skill and strength and speed... I don't know. I'm not setting up the details. Just dragging the Elite Four down with me... Shit, that sounds weird. I don't like having power over them."

"You wanted power," Des said lightly. Zachary tried to glare at him, but it came out too sad and too pathetic. Kostya liked that look on him. Oh, how fragile he really was. "What exactly is the purpose of this?"

"Just... PR? I don't know. Something about raising money for charity and pokémon and look, you know I can't say no to anyone—Lucian aside—and they got me at the same time. I couldn't resist! I was powerless."

The contest didn't amount to much. There was much (good-natured) cheating involved, and it wasn't on as grand of a scale as their trainer had led them to believe. Carlita tripped twice while trying to dance, Harlan augmented Ike's electricity when demonstrating skill, and Kostya won the strength just because Des couldn't actually lift anything with how short his legs were. It was an amusing diversion from their normal life of arguing with politicians and the media and defending their title, which Kostya was sure was the point of it all.

It was a messy patch for the hurts of their team, but he was glad for it all the same. Nick was dead and Hanna was distant; their team was all their trainer had. He couldn't stand to see it fragment so badly, but he could stand what it was doing to their trainer even less. As much as Konstantin helplessly adored pain and strife, there was something deep inside of him that didn't like it when it happened to his trainer.

He knew he was thinking about these sorts of things far too often. He couldn't help it. He thought that Des was being too cruel after what happened in Stark Mountain, and that Carlita was still too much of a sore point for his trainer to properly handle. He thought Ike had come out better than he thought. He thought Alice was trying too hard to stay in her mother position and that Zarek wasn't helping anything with his continued spoiled attitude. He thought the humans were inhumane for how they were treating their new Champion, after all he had done—all he had given up—to try to protect them.

But above all, over everything else in the world, more than his teammates or humanity or gods or the dead, Kostya thought about his trainer.